Choose nice fresh medium-sized fleshy trumps either
from the market or fresh from the garden if grown with plenty
of fertilizer. Peel carefully removing all the thin orange-tinged outer skin.
Place trumps in a medium-to-large saucepan and cover
with water. Heat to boiling and cook until tender and semi-soft.
This may take an extended amount of time as they tend to often be
aloof and self-absorbed rather than permeable.
Drain the liquid and save for later use. Draw and quarter the trumps into
bite-sized cubes and add to the stewpot along with selected non-white meats,
onion, and garlic. Some like to add a bit of Mexican hot sauce to bring out
the flavor. Sprinkle generously with coarse sea salt and fresh-ground pepper.
Depending on individual taste you may add a few black or white pepper corns.
Cook over an open fire for three to seven days stirring as needed. Stay upwind.
While stewing, pick a spot some distance from the fire and dig a pit at least twelve to
sixteen inches deep and as large as a fat-headed flamboyant toupee. When the stew is
almost finished cooking carefully remove it from the fire and without allowing it to
cool pour into the prepared hole. Cover with the excavated dirt. Piss on it if you like.